I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
