Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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