This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
