Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
