Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
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