tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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