how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
