the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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