Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
