the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
