You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
