Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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