her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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