we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
i think im in europe. pls send help
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
