This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I need water and some morals
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
