It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
