He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
