My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
