At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
