Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
