Taylor Swift is so right about you.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
