he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
