I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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