i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
