Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
