Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
