Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
handjob tips. give me some.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
