i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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