in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
