Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
