sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
