ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
