Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
