do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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