if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
