why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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