You made me cry and you don't even care
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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