I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
