dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
