Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
