Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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