Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
