RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
