I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It's never too late to be topless.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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