Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
