i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
