if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
