Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
