You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
