She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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