a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Randomize
