And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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