My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
