she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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